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1. Stop digging
This is the first rule of holes - don't make it any deeper than it already is. If you are piling "To Be Filed" items on a pile that's already two feet high, stop. Don't add anything more, not even that one next paper, to the pile. Either file it or dump it right now. If your credit card balances are lurking over your shoulder, hide your cards. Freeze them in some ice, so you have to wait for them to thaw (and have time to think twice) before you use them. Or cut your cards up so you can't do any more damage. If you're overweight and you know that you have been overindulging in some of your favorite trigger foods, throw them out. Clean out your freezer, your pantry, and your desk drawer. Then don't buy any more.
2. Focus on the outcome you want
You can fret all day long about the circumstances in which you find yourself, but that won't change anything. Fretting will likely reinforce and even intensify your negative feelings, but that's it. Look - you are where you are. The more important thing is the action that you're going to choose to take right now, in this minute and in the one that directly follows it. You can't choose your actions effectively without first determining what you want. Once you've identified your desired outcome, you can use it as a mantra, like "I am choosing to live a debt-free life, I am choosing to live a debt-free life," to help yourself stay focused on it.
3. Develop your game plan
Positive change isn't instant. There are usually obstacles that are making it harder to climb out of the hole. Even a long list of obstacles won't stop you if first you name them, and then think of multiple ideas that will help you get around them. (Notice that this reads "multiple?" Don't settle for your first answer - keep going so you have options and a potential Plan B, or even a Plan C.) You might want to do some research, or talk to a trusted family member or friend to help broaden your thinking in the solutions department. Then choose the best solutions from the list, convert them into specific actions and lay them out in a plan.
4. Take a step
You won't climb out of the hole, not even with a flawless plan, unless and until you move your hands and feet. And it's likely that you won't be able to jump out in one motion - it's going to be a process of finding handholds and footholds and gradually climbing. Your troubled relationship won't be cured overnight, but you can take a first step to do something nice for that other person this weekend. It's just one step, but it's a step in the right direction. If your office (or house, or garden) is a wreck, allocate a small time slot during which to start working on it. You might even find that the first step gives you the good feelings and the momentum to take another, and another...
Everyone experiences the feeling of being in a hole at some time or another. You are not alone. It can take courage to climb out, especially when you feel like you're in pretty deep. But you can be an instrument for change. You can bring better things and peace of mind into your life.