Friday, February 13, 2009

Who do you love?

Don't worry - this isn't going to be some ooey-gooey post on how you should buy your honey a pair of diamond earrings, although I'm not saying it wouldn't be nice. (Are you reading this, Jimbo?) What I want to know is Who Do You Love?

I'll never forget the day ### years ago when I was a teenager and the pastor in my church talked about how love isn't a feeling - it's a behavior. So we can feel happy or sad, amused or irritated and we still can love. We can demonstrate to other people that they have value in our lives and they are worth our attention just because of who they are.

I think the best love is unsullied by an agenda. While many of our relationships rely on reciprocity, "You scratch my back and I'll scratch yours," it's really great to see giving that's just giving with no expectation of a return gesture. Altruism is love. Volunteerism is love.

I also particularly appreciate seeing love that's given when the person being loved is not particularly lovable. I love seeing people reach out to people who are different, or difficult, and I love it when these dear people persist until they eventually create a little crack in the other person's protective crust. Once that little crack lets some light in the "unlovable" can start to evolve into someone new.

You can't truly love other people unless you allow them to love you too. There are people in your life who want to do things for you. Sit back once in a while and be the recipient of a favor, or of a compliment, without trying to give them back. Don't tell them they're wrong for noticing something good about you.

Have a warm and wonderful weekend. Connect with whomever it is that you love. Cya next week.