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| A moment of personal connection..., a photo by LifeSong-Stockton on Flickr. |
Whether you are at a business function, a holiday gathering, or a chance encounter at the market, you have an opportunity to make a real connection with the person in front of you. In the current emphasis on networking to find new business opportunities, connections are important, even critical. But in the process of pursuing them, some people take a short-sighted view and wind up shooting themselves in the foot.
Imagine a businessperson strategizing before a Chamber of Commerce meeting. He calls the Chamber office to find out who has registered for the event, and assembles a hit list of the best people to meet. On the day of the event the salesperson makes a beeline for those individuals, exchanges cards with them and agrees to talk the next day to set up an appointment for one-on-one conversation, checks them off on his list and moves on as quickly as possible. He completes his checklist and leaves the function, satisfied with the strategic and focused technique that he used that day.
Wait a minute, though. There just might be a couple of things wrong with this picture, and perhaps the salesperson might want to use an alternative approach the next time. Why?
Whose agenda is it anyway?
When this salesperson is charging into the function on his way toward Mr. or Ms. Prime Prospect, he is on his own agenda. How many people are attending this gathering in the hopes that this guy or someone else will zoom up to them with a sales agenda, take their information and run off? Probably none are there with the goal of being sold. If this is a business function it's likely that they have goals of their own. If the salesperson doesn't recognize that and view each contact as an opportunity to help the other person fulfill his or her agenda, the salesperson is likely not creating the kind of positive impression that will ultimately result in an authentic business relationship and a new customer. He might even create negative buzz that causes people to avoid him in the future.
One degree of separation...
One (or more) of the people attending the function is not a power name, but is married to one of the best potential prospects for this salesperson. One might live next door to him or her, or coach kids' soccer alongside the prime contact. If the salesperson doesn't take time to make connections with multiple people, even seemingly random ones, he will miss the powerful relationships that don't appear on a registration list. Some of the people he wants to meet aren't at the event, but instead have sent proxies. These proxies might not be able to make a "yes" decision, but they certainly can be in charge of a "no". They have the power to filter the salesperson out of the running before the ultimate decision maker ever even finds out about him - and a piece of their decision to pass him along or toss his business card is their impression of the manner in which he treats them.
Intrinsic value and serendipity...
In all of this agenda-driven networking, where is the value in meeting someone interesting who is an avid fisherman, and whose passion is hand-tying flies? How would this salesperson ever find out about a charity in his community that raises money for an issue that's close to his heart? When would he have a chance meeting with somebody who knows his long-lost friend from high school or college? That person across from him doesn't have to serve his sales purpose in order to be valuable to know.
It's who knows you...
It's said that it doesn't matter who you know - it does matter, though, who knows you. Your reputation precedes you, working for good or for ill depending upon the foundation that you've laid during your interactions with other people. Overnight success is not overnight. It is the culmination of a lot of little actions, of a lot of little moments when you make the decision to do, or not to do, to connect authentically or not, with this person or not. Let's say it straight out - if you're under the impression that it's all about you and your goals, it's not. And overpowering self-interest in your approach to another person comes through like a bad small wafts right through perfume.
Successful and sustainable business results from an equitable exchange of value. What value are you bringing to the table, to them? Are you objectifying other people, seeing them only as stepping stones or stumbling blocks on your way to success? Or allowing yourself to be open to all the ways in which you might relate with one another?
Intrinsic value and serendipity...
In all of this agenda-driven networking, where is the value in meeting someone interesting who is an avid fisherman, and whose passion is hand-tying flies? How would this salesperson ever find out about a charity in his community that raises money for an issue that's close to his heart? When would he have a chance meeting with somebody who knows his long-lost friend from high school or college? That person across from him doesn't have to serve his sales purpose in order to be valuable to know.
It's who knows you...
It's said that it doesn't matter who you know - it does matter, though, who knows you. Your reputation precedes you, working for good or for ill depending upon the foundation that you've laid during your interactions with other people. Overnight success is not overnight. It is the culmination of a lot of little actions, of a lot of little moments when you make the decision to do, or not to do, to connect authentically or not, with this person or not. Let's say it straight out - if you're under the impression that it's all about you and your goals, it's not. And overpowering self-interest in your approach to another person comes through like a bad small wafts right through perfume.
Successful and sustainable business results from an equitable exchange of value. What value are you bringing to the table, to them? Are you objectifying other people, seeing them only as stepping stones or stumbling blocks on your way to success? Or allowing yourself to be open to all the ways in which you might relate with one another?
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