Monday, March 12, 2012

The emotional downward spiral and feeling stuck

If you're feeling stuck and mad about it, this post is for you...a bit of tough love for today.

Here you are, in circumstances that are the culmination of a lot of contributing factors.  It is likely that your current situation did not develop overnight.  But as the human mind is programmed for crisis (remember your hormonal friend adrenaline?) this might have sneaked up on you on stealthy feet when you weren't looking.

You might have done something downright boneheaded, or you might have been neglectful of your responsibilities.  But here you are.  And you are here regardless of the reasons, regardless of what that something was that got you here.  So HERE is where you start.

Do you want to stay here?   Do you want to sell out and remain stuck and embrace victimhood?  If so, keep going with the self-flagellation.  Keep telling yourself that you're not worthy, you're stupid, you're disorganized or whatever the self-recrimination du jour may be.  You will start to attract experiences that are in alignment with those views, and you will notice elements in your environment that reinforce your negative perceptions.  You will even start to adapt your behavior to align with your view of yourself.  "I'm bad at math, so I might as well not even study for my test." Great.  What a way to ensure that you'll get a bad score on your test!  "I'm fat already, so I might as well have another piece of cake."  (Are you aware that the difference between the daily caloric intake of an ideal weight woman and an overweight woman is 100 calories?  Only 100!  That's as little as one food or exercise decision per day in alignment with your goals.)

So how do you change your emotions?  Take action.  Do something.  A tiny step in the direction of greater alignment with your desired outcome will start the snowball rolling down the hill.  Actions will give you the opportunity to prove your value to yourself.  You will start to generate small wins that will lay the groundwork for bigger wins, until you're fully unstuck and on your way.

Here's today's mini-coaching video on this topic:

The difference between the people who succeed and the people who don't is that the people who succeed get back up and get on with it.  "Hopeium" won't get you there.  Blaming won't get you there.  The next step in alignment with your desired outcome - today and right now - will send you on a better track.  You can do this.

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